


Transformation

by taragraceknowles



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: High School, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-01 02:36:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5188925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taragraceknowles/pseuds/taragraceknowles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jesse in high school. This started out as a oneshot, but I thought it had potential to be made into an actual story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. No Detention

"The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion."

-Albert Camus

 

* * *

Jesse sat at the desk at the back of the classroom with his head down, sleeping hard as the rest of the class learned chemistry. He did this almost every day; he came into his first period chemistry class and went straight to sleep, waking up just in time to switch classes. 

Mr. White passed back the tests the students had taken the previous class, sighing as he came to Jesse’s test and noticed that he was sleeping during his class once again. “Alright class, most of you did fairly well on this test, and those of you who didn't I will be expecting you to either stop by and see me for help or get help some other way,” he announced. 

The bell rang soon after Mr. White had finished speaking to the class. He watched as his students frantically rushed out the door and noisily merged into the crowded hallway. He looked at Jesse, still sleeping on the desk, and let out another big sigh. 

He sat down at the desk in front of Jesse, facing him. He gave him a stern look. “Jesse, wake up,” he ordered with a strong voice.

Jesse slowly opened his eyelids, regaining his focus as he looked drowsily at Mr. White. He started to roll his eyes but quickly noticed that he was the only other person in the room, and that Mr. White was staring solely at him. “What?” Jesse huffed in annoyance.

“ _What?_  That's all you have to say for yourself? You slept through that _entire_ lesson. Not to mention that you completely failed that test from last class,” he lectured, his voice gradually becoming louder with each word.

Jesse swallowed hard. “I'm tired,” he answered gruffly. “Besides, it's not like I _need_  this class or anything.”

Mr. White lightly slammed his hand on the table and stood up. “Unbelievable,” he said with an obvious irritation to his voice. He walked over to his desk and opened up the top drawer. “I'm gonna have to give you a detention, Mr. Pinkman.”

Jesse waited until he wasn't looking and rolled his eyes again. He had been in detention so many times that it was nothing to him anymore. In fact, he was saving all of his detention slips and found it amusing as the number got higher. 

Jesse stood up and walked over to the desk, watching as Mr. White finished writing on the detention slip. Mr. White signed the slip and handed it to Jesse, giving him a hard look as he did so. Jesse walked out of the room without either of them saying another word, and as he made his way down to the other end of the hallway he read the slip. “Sleeping during class multiple times.” he smirked. This was going to be a long rest of the year.

* * *

Jesse sat in the back of his math class, impatiently waiting for the bell to ring so he could leave. He repeatedly tapped his pencil against his desk, creating a drumbeat-like noise. 

Badger looked over at him and tapped his pencil against his desk too, trying to imitate the same beat that Jesse was making.

They laughed a little bit, making beatboxing sounds along with the sounds from their pencils.

Carla, a girl with curly brown hair and glasses, turned around and glared at the two. “Some of us are actually trying to learn, you know,” she snarled and turn back around.

“Some of us are trying to learn,” Badger repeated her as he quietly mocked. Him and Jesse both laughed again. 

“Yo, you should come by my house after school, me and Pete are gonna smoke some and watch Babylon 5,” Badger told Jesse.

“Man I wish I could, but I've got detention,” he answered.

Badger rolled his eyes. “Skip it,” he said with a shrug. “I do it all the time.”

Jesse raised his eyebrows slightly. “For real?”

Badger answered with an immediate nod. “Yeah, they don't even take attendance all the time. And when they do, all they do is tell you to come next time,” Badger added with a small laugh.

“Alright yo, I'll be there then,” Jesse confirmed, raising his fist to give Badger a fist bump. 

The bell rang and he and Badger practically leaped out of their seats and out of the classroom, eager to get out of school and over to Badger’s house. Jesse led the way, making sure to not cross in front of Mr. White’s classroom, and they walked out of the building to meet Pete near the front entrance.

“Yo, what's up Jess?” Pete asked with a slight smile as he patted Jesse’s back. 

“He's supposed to be in detention,” Badger said with a laugh, answering before Jesse could. 

“Ah man,” Pete responded with a slow, raspy voice. “From who?”

“White, the chemistry teacher,” Jesse answered. “I swear he hates my guts,” he snickered. 

They walked to Badger’s house four blocks away and joked with each other along the way. Jesse developed small butterflies in his stomach as he thought about how he had skipped detention. Was he going to get caught? Would he get in trouble? He also felt a tiny rush of exhilaration.  He decided that it didn't matter at all if he got caught or if he got in trouble for skipping. He felt like he was turning into a new person almost; a brave, fearless, rebellious person. 


	2. The Wrong Crowd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse tries meth; his parents talk to him about how he's been behaving.

"Rebellion cannot exist without the feeling that somewhere, in some way, you are justified."

-Albert Camus

* * *

Jesse walked into school the next morning, looking half-dead from his sufficient lack of sleep. He had stayed up all night at Badger’s house, smoking weed and watching movies with him and Pete. He sneaked back into his own house successfully around 3 AM the previous night and went to sleep at about 4 AM. His parents rarely ever caught him sneaking in or out anymore; in fact, they had basically given up on him ever since he started his “rebellious streak” several months ago. He hated that term. He felt it wasn't a streak, but rather a way of life. He didn't think he was ever going to “grow out of it” like he had overheard his mother saying to his father. 

He walked into his chemistry class with about five seconds to spare before the final bell rang. He was relieved when Mr. White didn't say anything to him- he was worried that he might've somehow found out that he skipped his detention yesterday. He sunk down in his seat, pulling the hood of his jacket further over his head to the point where it was almost covering his eyes.

“Alright class, get out your homework while I take attendance. I'm going to walk around in a minute and check if you completed it,” Mr. White announced, looking around the classroom to see if everyone was present that day. 

Jesse rolled his eyes and pulled his hood off, running his hand through his hair. He hadn't even bothered to bring a pen and paper to class with him this time. What was the point? He was almost positive he was going to either drop out or get kicked sooner or later anyways. 

Mr. White stood up from his desk with a notebook, starting at the front of the room. He gave small nods and whispered names to himself as he took note of who had their homework and who did not. He made his way to the back of the room, where Jesse was sitting.

“Mr. Pinkman?” he questioned, glancing at the empty table in front of Jesse. 

Jesse shook his head. “I don't have it,” he said quietly.

Mr. White sighed as he walked back to the front of the room and set the notebook on his desk.

Jesse stared out the window, beginning his deep daydreaming as Mr. White’s chemistry lesson was a muffled sound in the back of his head. He started thinking about his life. He had always had a little bit of defiance in him, but only fairly recently had started doing things that were considered to be delinquency. It started at the beginning of his sophomore year of high school. He didn't know exactly why, he just knew that he had this burning feeling inside him to do everything that his parents and his teachers wouldn't want him to do. Once he started doing that, he developed a feeling that he would never grow up to have a life that would be considered “normal.” He thought he was either going to die at a young age from drugs or murder, or end up in jail. He couldn't control his actions and he didn't care about what the results from them would be. He still had a small sense of fear in him whenever he was in trouble, but he tried hard not to show it. It was lessening quicker with each time, and he knew it would eventually be gone. 

* * *

“Hey, Jesse. Want some?” Badger asked, holding up a bag containing a white powdery substance. 

Jesse’s face turned from confusion to shock. “Is that…?” he started to ask but didn't finish his question. 

“Yep, meth,” Badger replied casually with a smirk. “Want some?”

“Isn't that stuff.. like, addictive?” Jesse asked slowly.

“Nah not really, me and Badger have been using it for a while,” Pete chimed in.

“And this is the first time you've mentioned it to me?” Jesse questioned suspiciously.

“We just met you a few months ago, we didn't know if you were some kinda undercover cop or somethin’” Badger responded.

Jesse stared at the meth and scratched his head. He nodded unsurely. Badger opened the bag, putting some of the powdery substance on the table and shaping it into a perfect line with a credit card. Jesse got a nervous look in his eyes. His eyes jerked up in Badger's direction as he handed him a rolled up dollar bill to snort with. Jesse gulped as he grabbed it. He brought the dollar bill to the table, putting it to the line of meth. He pressed his finger on one of his nostrils and held the dollar bill up to his other nostril. He closed his eyes gently and took a sharp breath in. It hurt his nose as it went it, but it quickly passed and he felt pleasure. He wasn't sure if the drug had actually started working yet or if this was the kind of “sugar pill” effect from thinking it was going to have an effect on him right away. His heart was practically racing out of his chest. He held his hand up to his heart and felt it beating. He closed his eyes again. It was as if everything was in slow motion almost, like time was moving so slowly even though in reality it was moving at normal speed.

* * *

Jesse awoke to the sound of his cell phone ringing. He had a grumpy look on his face as he squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them, trying to straighten out his blurred vision. He took his phone out of his pocket and looked to see who it was. It was his mom. His eyes went directly to the upper right corner of his phone, where the time was. 1 PM. “ _Shit_ ,” he whispered to himself. 

“Hey,” he said as he answered the phone.

“Jesse,” his mom said loudly. “Where are you?! Your school called me earlier and told me you weren't there, and I called you five times before you picked up your phone. Where the hell _are_  you?”

Jesse rolled his eyes. “Relax mom, I'm at Badger’s. We stayed up late and I accidentally slept through morning. I'm fine.”

“Jesse, that is _not_ okay. You better march yourself home _right now_ , and I mean it,” his mom warned angrily.

Jesse huffed as he stood up off the floor. He noticed that Badger and Pete were still sleeping, so he just left without saying anything to them. He walked home, feeling so drowsy and out-of-it that it was almost difficult for him to walk.

He finally reached his house, dreading the moment that he was going to walk inside and be attacked by his mom's questions and lectures. He went in through the backdoor. As soon as he opened the door, he saw both of his parents sitting anxiously at the kitchen table.

“Jesse, have a seat,” his mom spoke, sounding like she was trying very hard to stay calm.

Jesse took a seat at the end of the table, cautiously watching and studying the looks on his parents faces. They both seemed angry and impatient, but also looked like they were almost trying to hide it.

“Jesse, your mother and I have been thinking a lot,” his father began. “And your behavior lately has been very unacceptable.” he paused for a moment. “If you continue to behave like this, you can't live in this house anymore.”

Jesse drew his eyebrows together in confusion and he looked back and forth quickly between both of his parents, and became frustrated when neither of their facial expressions changed. “Are you _serious_?”

“Yes,” his mom answered. “We can't have this type of influence around Jake.”

Jesse’s thoughts went haywire as he tried to wrap his mind around this. Were they kicking him out?

“You need to stop hanging around with the wrong crowd of people,” his mom added.

Jesse seemed as if he was about to explode as he responded to this. “The wrong crowd?! Why can't you guys just understand that this is how I actually am?”

“You used to be good! You never would have acted like this a few years ago,” his mother yelled as her eyes watered.

“I don't hang out with wrong crowd mom, I _am_  the wrong crowd,” he said through clenched teeth.

His mom put her face in her hands, starting to cry very lightly. His dad shot a stern stare to him and Jesse could've sworn he saw his dad’s face transform to a shade of red in anger.

Jesse slammed his hand on the table and stood up. He raised his eyebrows as he looked at his parents. He looked as if he wanted to say something but didn't know what to say. He walked out of the kitchen and made his way upstairs to his bedroom. Were they serious about kicking him out? They couldn't possibly be serious. They wouldn't just kick out their son because they don't like the way he was acting. 

He walked into his bedroom and slammed the door behind him, locking it. He laid down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He didn't want to live with his parents anymore anyways. Maybe he could live with Badger instead, his life would be much better there.


	3. Kicked Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse is kicked out of his parents' house.

Jesse’s eyes flickered open as they adjusted to the morning sunshine. He had fallen asleep accidentally last night, and quickly realized this as he looked down to see the same Pink Floyd t-shirt and wrinkled jeans that he had been wearing the day before. He shifted his eyes over to his nightstand, where he saw the time on his digital alarm clock: 7:53 AM.

 

“ _Shit,”_ he whispered to himself as he remembered the events of last night.

 

He sat up at the edge of his bed, running his hand through his hair and rolling his eyes. He would have to leave his room _sometime_ and face the awkwardness of seeing his parents. He grunted, reaching over for his cell phone on his bed, which was somewhat covered by the corner of his pillow. He flipped it open. _One missed call._ He dialed the number and held it up to his ear.

 

“ _Jesus_ Jesse, you know what time it is? This better be important,” Badger’s raspy voice spoke from the other side.

 

“Oh, yeah, hey man.. sorry about that. I fell asleep early last night, just woke up.”

 

“You went to bed _early?”_ Badger asked in disbelief. “Man you should’ve been there last night, me and Pete were taking hit after hit. It got fuckin’ wild,” he said, ignoring his previous question.

 

“Yeah, well sorry I couldn’t be there. My parents suddenly decided to act like they care about me and got pissed at me for basically no reason. They threatened to kick me out.”

 

“Oh shit. You can come live with me,” Badger offered. “We could party all the time,” he laughed.

 

“I might just have to take you up on that offer. It sucks here lately.”

 

“Totally. Come by anytime bro,” Badger requested. “I’ve gotta get some sleep though, night Jess.”

 

“Alright, sleep tight,” Jesse said as he hung up the phone and stood up off his bed.

 

He huffed as he made way his way to his bedroom door. He opened it, almost immediately regretting this action.

 

“Jesse, is that you? Come down here!” his mother yelled from down the stairs.

 

He sighed but said nothing else as he walked down the hallway and made his way down the stairs toward the kitchen. He stared blankly at his mom and dad who were sitting across from each other at the kitchen table.

 

“Sit down,” his mom gestured to the seat at the end of the table.

 

Jesse cautiously walked to the chair and sat down, not making eye contact with either of them. He looked down at the table as he scratched his hairline and raised his eyebrows.

 

“Jesse,” his mom began. “We’ve been thinking, and..”

 

“We think you would be better off living with your aunt,” his dad interrupted.

 

There was a moment of silence as they all waited for each other to say something or to react.

 

“Ginny said that she would be happy to have you,” his mother added, trying to lighten the mood.

 

“What, so you’re just gonna try to get rid of me? Try to pretend that you don’t have another son? What are you gonna tell the neighbors, that I _died?”_ Jesse questioned with passionate anger in his voice.

 

“Sweetie, calm down. I think this will be the best for both of us,” his mom answered. “She said you can move in tomorrow morning.”

 

Jesse gulped as he tried to wrap his mind around this. He stood up from the table and looked at both of his parents.

 

“Yeah, whatever guys,” he said with a small laugh at the end of his sentence. “I’m out,” he said as he made his way to the front door of the house.

 

* * *

 

Badger passed the joint to Jesse, blowing out a ring of smoke.

 

“That’s messed up, man,” Badger commented.

 

“Right? I mean, I knew they never liked me all that much- it was mutual. But _come on,_ they could’ve just waited a couple of years for me to move out on my own.”

 

Jesse took a draw from the joint and leaned his head back against the wall.

 

“So what’s your aunt like? Is she nice?” Badger asked.

 

Jesse lifted his head from the wall, looking over to Badger.

 

“Yeah, I mean I guess so. She’s the only one who ever acted like I wasn’t a complete fuck-up from the moment I was born.” he answered.

 

Jesse’s throat closed up and he could feel himself wanting to cry, but he held it back because he didn’t want Badger to see him cry.

 

“You know, I think I’m gonna go take a walk outside. Thanks for listening,” he said as he stood up and gave the joint back to Badger.

 

“You sure?” Badger asked with a worried voice.

 

“Yeah,” Jesse answered quietly, opening the door and walking out.

 

He waited until he got to the end of the road and tears started falling down his cheeks. He felt so lost, so forgotten. How could his parents just forget about him like this and abandon him? Their relationship wasn’t anywhere near close to being good, but he’s their _son._ They should be obligated to not to give up on him like this.

 

Jesse sat down on the cold winter grass and looked around at the outside world. He had no idea what to do now; he couldn’t go home and see his parents, and he didn’t want to go back to Badger’s because he didn’t want to explain why he left.

 

He thought about what it would be like to live with his aunt. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.. after all, it couldn’t be nearly as bad as it is to live with his parents. At least she actually acted like he cared about him and loved him. She always used to tell his parents to calm down when they would yell at him or complain about him to her.

 

He stood up off the ground and walked over back to the sidewalk; it was becoming way too cold outside for him to stay there on the ground. He walked without determining his destination, but quickly realized that he was walking in the direction of his house. He didn’t care though, he just kept on walking down the sidewalk. Besides, maybe it’s better to get this over with and just go home to pack and get ready for the next morning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a new tumblr devoted to my fan fic where i'll be posting updates on this story and other stories that I write :)
> 
> http://fandomfanficwriter.tumblr.com/


End file.
